May 4, 2018


Yesterday afternoon I taught my last class for the semester. It feels incredible - not to be done, per se, but to finish a semester and not be entirely exhausted and overwhelmed. I have felt so incredibly content with my worklife this year, and compared to how I felt this time last spring, I am endlessly grateful. My students here work hard and my boss is just amazing - so supportive, so much faith in me.

It's been a terrific year. I'm still recovering from my divorce and the last few difficult years in a lot of ways - beyond the financial part, I'm still extra cautious with my trust, still deeply protective of my and my son's hearts. But this time in California has been so good for us. I'm a better mom here - more patient, less tired. I'm a healthier person here - mentally, physically, emotionally. And Noah is absolutely flourishing - my sweetest little love, who is excited for his fifth birthday this weekend and for summer camping trips and for kindergarten and for every single moment of every day. He's still a kid, and there are still tough days, but overall, I am beyond thankful for what a terrific kid he is and for the wonderful life we are creating together.

We've got a lot on our minds with summer coming. Noah's been planning his birthday celebration for months (and changing his ideas hourly), finally deciding on an Amtrak train trip down to Fresno for a minor league baseball game. His dad is in town, which means Noah's routine is altered and I'm on edge, but it's just for a few days, at least. In a few weeks, it's Pre-K graduation, and we'd like to get my mom out here for a visit. And for me, there's all the nervousness about Daniel's PhD defense in a few months and what happens next. I've tentatively got a summer class, depending based on enrollment, but as for now (fingers crossed) it's moving ahead. We're thinking about finding a new apartment that's a little less expensive.

It's a lot, but it doesn't feel as heavy as half as much did in South Carolina. I'm glad for that.

I'm glad things are going well with Weight Watchers, too. It's slow - averaging out to a little more than a pound a week or so - but it's moving forward, and I'm feeling good. I'm grateful for slower changes this time around, for time to adapt to the shifts, for not having disordered behaviors with food or exercise. I'm closing in on the 50-pounds-lost milestone, and it feels wonderful.

I say it far too often and rarely follow through, but I really do want to write more. With a little extra time during the school break, now's a great time for me to get back into the writing habit. I was thinking about motivating myself to write at least one post a week based on what we discuss in our WW meetings - my responses, my reflections. I post a lot over on Instagram but it's mostly food-related. (We take pictures of the meals we enjoy so we can remember and make them again!)

I know there's a direct correlation between interacting with my community and my success. I want to be as active as I can, and as interactive, too.