January 18, 2017


Today is a really special day. A few months ago, I'd wondered about something ... quickly did the research ... then jotted down "January 18, 2017" in my planner.

Today is that day.

Today is the day that I've officially been apart from Matt longer than we were married.

614 days, or just over a year and eight months. Not very much time, but each set of 614 felt heavy and challenging for its own reasons.

Today is a happy day, and a sad day, and a strange day. An odd one to celebrate, I'll admit. But it's a good thing in the bigger picture, I think. It's nice to look at the time we were together and see the good and the bad, and to see the person I've become and the life I've established since then. It's interesting to look at how I fell apart, and how I've worked to piece myself and my life back together.

I saw a poem on someone's blog or Instagram a while ago, and never forgot it:

today my professor told me
every cell in our entire body
is destroyed and replaced
every seven years.

how comforting it is to know
one day i will have a body
you will have never touched.

Incredibly accurate. It's been such a deeply reassuring thought the past few months. We're not quite at seven years, but the significance of this date at least has me feeling fresh and open and optimistic.