March 4, 2016

Wrap-up: February

I was so tired this week, I went to bed when Noah did (around 7:30 p.m.) several times. Nerves and anticipation of my family getting here had me all worked up. It was nice, I definitely needed the sleep.

I'm down one more pound this week, to 312. It's a significant milestone, for a few reasons. First, because I was 332 on Jan. 1, so this means I'm down 20 so far for the year. (And down 33 from my highest - the same as a cinder block!) Also, I was 312 on May 15 last year (the day my husband left), so I've undone the regain that came with months of deep depression and trying to soothe very big hurts with food. Yes, it's backtracking, it's cleaning up after a regain, but I'm past caring about that - right now, to not only be on this side of that number but to be infinitely happier and healthier than I was then and for the months after ... it feels good to be out of that hole.

It feels slow sometimes, and February was a difficult month of big ups and big downs - seriously.

But it's nice to look at the bigger picture here and realize that overall, I'm doing well. After two months, I'm down 20 pounds. At that pace, I'd lose 120 pounds at the end of a year - doesn't seem slow or small then!

I didn't do much this week for activity - I spent my days off cleaning/tidying up to get ready for guests, in meetings, and taking Noah to a play date with a friend. I'm not going to set a specific goal for next week with my family here, but I would like to at least be more active than I was this week (anything is more than 0!).

I'm not nervous at all about eating with them here. My goal is to maintain or lose, and I'm going to stick to salads and healthier options when we're out. There will be plenty of treats while they're here, but I was thinking about it, and they're not really treats to me - I live here, I can have them whenever. So I'd rather work towards my goal of getting out of the 300s for good than eat entirely off-plan. I can still enjoy the experience and enjoy the time with them without overindulging.

My February goals were hit or miss - water is still the easiest, and activity is still a challenge. The hardest one this month was the binge-free streaks. I managed two 5-day streaks, but the other days ... even if it wasn't a full binge, it was still overeating, and I didn't feel good about it. I wanted to hit my 96 oz. water goal every day (with 128 oz. at least 9 times) - I managed 19 times at 128 oz. and the other 10 at 96 oz.! I was active 13 times - between rainy days and general busy-ness, I took a lot of days to just rest. I needed it - I'm ready, though, to attack March.

This is going to be an interesting month - lots of good potential. Right after Spring Break, I am going to start working with one of my former students, who is taking a personal training course. I will be her client, and she'll train me. I know the last time I volunteered, it was a lot of weight lifting - which I don't mind so much, I just never did much because I didn't know what to do on my own and didn't want to risk injury. Last time, we set mini goals for the end of the training session - one of mine then was to hold a 1 minute plank, and I did it, plus some. This time, I don't know what to do. I'm 20 or so pounds heavier than I was the last time I volunteered, which I'm a little embarrassed about, but at the same time - it's been a busy year and a half between now and then. I'm doing the best I can, given my circumstances, and I'm on the right track.

Maybe my goal will be to run a mile. Maybe now I'll start to think about that resolution I made, to rediscover my old passions.

We'll see.

I doubt I'll have time/energy to blog while they're here, so I'm going to be more diligent about posting to Instagram for accountability.


Anonymous said...

I didn't realize you had an instagram! The photos of meals are appreciated...sometimes it gets hard to think up healthy simple options (especially ones that don't involve buying more groceries).

Congrats on your milestone!

Unknown said...

Love that chart! Great goals. I'm so inspired by your progress.

Vickie said...

If you can teach yourself to pause and think, while your family is there, about food decisions, I think it will help. I sent you an email.

Vickie said...

Family come and gone? How did it go?