February 19, 2016

Reflect and assess

This was such a weird week. A few really good days, but also some lousy ones.

I made a challenge to myself at the beginning of the year: be gentle to yourself when bad days happen, and try as hard as you can to not have two bad days in a row. I think besides the goal of not wanting to undo two off-plan days in a row, I want to lay down at the end of a hard day to reflect and assess the day, how it got to be a bad day, and what I can do the next day to fix it. Every single person, no matter what their personal struggle is, will have bad days. Sometimes, they just happen. But the reflecting and trying to figure out how to improve is crucial to recovering from the difficult times.

I had mostly good days this week, but there was also a lot of snacking. The week before my period, I get crazy hungry - it's so weird to me, because I never had any PMS issues before I had Noah. Now, I get achy, I get crabby, and I get insatiably hungry some days.

The problem is, I know this happens, but every month I try to fight it. So one day I go to bed hungry, the next day I wake up starving and struggle to get through the day without eating everything in sight. And after a day or two, I crack, I eat everything I can get my hands on, and I set myself back a week.

What I'd like to see happen in the future: anticipate this time, and make my goal for that week to maintain. Eat a little more, don't worry about not making an X pound loss goal for the week, and use the rest of the month for active weight loss. It'll be better for a lot of reasons - maybe it's just because it's fresh on my mind, but not having to undo regains after snapping and eating an entire bag of Chicago popcorn sounds like a pretty good reason to me.

I also had a hiccup this week because I forgot to check the pantry before grocery shopping and I didn't buy any more of the Think Thin bars I usually have for a morning snack because I assumed I still had enough. I didn't, and so the day I ran out, I brought a package of Trader Joe's light kettle corn instead, because it was what we had in the pantry. 2g of protein instead of 20g ... big mistake. I was ravenous the rest of the day, and when I got home, I ate waaaay too much (the aforementioned popcorn incident).

Reflect, assess, and learn: keep high protein snacks in my desk at work, and check the pantry before shopping.

It's frustrating to have a month of great progress and then a month of up, down, up, down. But that's life, some days are like that. Some weeks, even. I am trying to focus on good things like meeting/exceeding my water goal every day, and like all the progress I'm making with my self-confidence and my mental health. I'm feeling more and more like myself, and my next step is to make sure my actions consistently reflect the best self that I want to be. More awareness in my eating, I think - I would still describe my eating as restrictive, because there are certain things I cannot keep in the house because I struggle with self-control with certain foods (cheese and bread, mainly). But on days when I'm hungry, and when I know I am usually hungry, it's okay to have an extra on-plan snack during the day, or a bigger dinner - whatever it takes to calm the hunger and avoid a binge.

Tomorrow I'll take Noah for a haircut, and hopefully we can walk at the park both weekend days. I want to work on going to bed earlier this week.

What about you? How was your week? What are your weekend plans? Goals for next week?

1 comment:

Wii Fit & A Bet said...

My sister and I were just talking about the monthly monster. I like your plan,maintain 1 week and three weeks of losing and then repeat. I feel like the one week I will start to have no control and then it snowballs in to not caring about anything