September 29, 2014

Whole 30: Day 29

About a week and a half ago, I noticed a few little red bumps on my legs. The next day, a few more. A few days later, even more. Very itchy, to the point where it woke me up in the middle of the night.

My husband, a former hotel manager, immediately feared the worst: bed bugs. So we spent all of last weekend deep cleaning our apartment, and we ordered bed bug covers for our mattress and box spring. A few days went by with no new marks, then another set of them popped up. So we deep cleaned again, replaced our pillows, blankets, sheets, everything within reason.

I went to the dermatologist today, and my five minute exam resulted in "maybe." It looks like an insect bite, but since neither my husband nor my son is afflicted, he said it likely isn't bed bugs. More likely than not, he said, it's an allergy to something.

"Have you eaten anything new lately?"

Grumble, grumble. No grains, no dairy, no soy, no legumes, no sugar, no alcohol, no nothing. And I'm still allergic to something.

Probably the most expensive five minutes I've endured, and no real answer, besides here is a prescription for an over-the-counter cream - maybe your insurance will cover it! - and come back in two weeks.

Today and tomorrow will be real challenges. (And every day after that, too - this fight never ends for me - but still.) I fought every urge on the way home to say screw it and eat whatever I wanted.

Eating X will not make this problem easier to deal with. It will not make it go away.

I left the appointment, went right back to work, and walked right back up the stairs to my office (six weeks strong of not using the elevator!).

This weekend was rough, too. We went to a local festival on Saturday, where I got to watch my husband eat Italian pastry right in front of me. Then that night, a party at our friends' place, where everyone enjoyed unhealthy snacks and my husband had downed three alcoholic ciders before I could even ask for a water. Needless to say, I took the baby home early so he could get some sleep and I could avoid the situation.

It wasn't even that I was tempted. It was just ... I was mad. Angry. Furious. I was stressed out over the rash situation, uncomfortable with my itchiness, needing a nap but unable to sleep well even at night out of fear of bed bugs, and just overall exhausted from a busy few weeks at work. I was walking around at the party so angry - I want to deal with my stress by eating and I can't have it. So I just left.

I have definitely been snacking a lot the past week or so - even compliant foods can be bad in excess, and I am certainly feeling it. I still feel like I have lost some weight, but my energy is zapped and my motivation is low.

What I need right now - more than pizza, more than a cheeseburger - is love. And a nap. And I won't find rest or affection from food, so I won't give in to them today.

6 comments:

Lorrie Haley said...

I hope that it's not bed bugs. They are awful! I'm moving out of my place because of them. I have been doing a lot of late night snacking when I get home from work. It's hard to resist temptations. I'm still grieving my dads death (from April) and very much want to just full on binge again. I'm trying hard not to though. Good job reminding yourself and using some self control. I know it's hard. I love reading your blog. Relating to people who are going through similar struggles is very helpful. Even if the details are different I love feeling connected.

PJ Geek said...

I am a 'bad skin' person ..lots of episodes of red itchy bumps. One culprit one year was some of the equipment of a mat at the gym. I took extra precautions from then on ...Also, There are certain plants in the south that come out in late summer and fall that might be the culprit. The month of June for me is always a bad skin month-probably sumac. I'm surprised the doc didn't mention an antihistamine ..something like Allegra or Claritin that won't make you drowsy but might help the itching. good luck

Amy said...

I think these are such huge lessons to learn! It's soooo difficult in those social situations.

I do think that it is about creating new habits on how to adapt to those social scenarios... because obviously having one cider is obviously way better than going home and binging.

I really hope that your rash goes away soon!!

What's your plan past day 30?

B. Crew said...

Might be the cleaning solutions you use in your home? I was getting a rash on my body, mostly legs. Turns out the bathroom cleanser used by the cleaning service was causing me to break out in a rash. I never figured out WHY it only happened on my legs, but the rash was always the worst the day after the lady cleaned. It wasn't a weird cleanser or anything either, just new to me.

It might be worth noting that I was in a new and pretty stressful work location and situation at the time as well. The beginning of the school year, no matter how prepared I was for it always was havoc on my system. Good luck!

cspiro84 said...

I hope it's not bed bugs.....however, you're story sounds a TON like my friends, and her situation turned out to bugs. She had the blood test done after having itchy red bumps for like a year. They said it was an allergic reaction to "something" and gave her a cream. Eventually her and her boyfriend looked under the mattress and they were in the middle. Her boyfriend didn't get bites either. Something I've learned in my job where bed bugs are common, is that they can have a favorite "host" and so your husband and son may not get effected. I'd say check under your mattress and box spring. Just to be safe.

As far as the stress, keep being strong! I'm not one to talk, as I've recently realized I am a stress eater. I don't binge, but I definitely get snacky when things are bothering me. It's a long hard fight, but you have the strength to do it.

Katie Young said...

I'm allergic to mangos of all things. I don't eat them regularly, and whenever I do I get hives on my legs. It took me years to figure out what was causing it.