August 23, 2014

Compassion

My first niece was born a few months ago. My sister Lisa's pregnancy helped draw us closer, I think - we have always butted heads but since I went through these experiences just a year earlier, she and I have talked more than probably our entire lives previous to this.

Even with her own pregnancy weight gain, I weigh more than Lisa - but at my smallest, my body type had us able to share clothes. I tried on her jeans, and they were even a bit loose; I cried. I have always seen Lisa as someone who is a healthy weight - comfortably curvy, and incredibly self-confident about her body. As a 345 pound person, I coveted not only her shape, but the way that she carried herself. To be able to share clothes was a huge milestone, one of my biggest non-scale victories.

A month or so after she delivered, a family friend asked Lisa when she would be ready for baby pictures, and she said that that week would be good as long as they were just baby pictures - she wasn't feeling quite camera ready.

I think instances like this really illustrate how incredibly mean I am to myself. In her place a year ago, I was horribly nasty and negative to myself, angry that I had gained so much weight and not giving myself credit for what I had just done with my body. But hearing Lisa say these things, I wanted to grab her and hug her and tell her she is beautiful.

1 comment:

Kirtley Freckleton said...

Aw, thanks for the thought, very inspirational!
Whenever I see others being tough on themselves I think they're CRAZY because I know how WONDERFUL they are. Too bad it's tough to see how awesome we are sometimes.