February 5, 2014

Whole 30: Day 16

Last night, Matt reminded me that yesterday would have been our Day 30. I told him to stop worrying about the number and focus on how good we feel, because when this set of thirty days is up, I don't intend on giving up this plan.

Matt is resistant, still. Supportive, but resistant. He said he wants to be able to go out to eat once in a while, to have dairy sometimes. So I clarified: I still want to keep our good habits. I want to make a weekly meal plan, I want to try new recipes at least once a week, I want to keep our fridge and pantry grain- and sugar-free. It's pretty much impossible to eat at a restaurant and not encounter soy, so we'll have to do our best while out, and then make sure we stay soy-free at home. And once in a while, of course, there will be occasions where he can have grains or dairy or sugar. But my goal is to not have them at home.

As someone who has struggled so intensely with disordered eating, on both ends of my adult weight extremes, I have become intimately familiar with my body and its needs. I know what fuels it, and I know what breaks it down. I know my triggers - the foods that I crave in excess when I am stressed, anxious, nervous, depressed. The foods that make me feel high in the moment, and horrible afterward. All of those foods are things we're avoiding while doing the Whole 30.

For my health and continued success with my goal to reach a healthy weight and an active lifestyle, I will continue to abstain from the foods and food situations that trigger me.

I think about stocking the fridge again with Greek yogurt and having granola bars in the cabinet, and I don't feel triggered ... at the moment. I know where the cabinet is where we put the non-compliant foods, and I don't feel tempted to sneak anything.

Still, I worry. I know my past, and I know my present. I know that these struggles are not going to go away when I reach my goal weight - in fact, from my experiences in onederland, I know it only gets harder.

One day at a time. One day at a time.

Eggs and broccoli for breakfast, pork for lunch, tomato olive chicken with spinach for dinner. Week 2, Day 2 of Couch to 5K for a workout. Not enough water, per my usual lately. I washed my water bottle a week or so ago and didn't wash the soap out well enough, so I went to drink from it, tasted soap, and then got sick. Using cups and not the bottle is not bad, but I would say it cuts my water intake in half. Need to get better about it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My pantry is always gluten free, and corn free much to the chagrin of my husband. I only eat goats milk based dairy and I just started added soy back to my diet upon my doctors approval in tiny amounts.

Because I know certain things will trigger a binge for me, our compromise has been that he can have whatever he wants, as long as he doesn't bring it in the house, lol. He keeps granola bars, etc in his car.

He brought a snack size bag of Doritos from his lunch into the house my accident the other day. And I was all, um no, you did not!

Thankfully he is a good sport about it as long as I keep some non-gf bread and fruit on hand for him to snack on at home.