July 19, 2013

Roses and thorns

I'll just come right out with it: as of writing this post, I still haven't heard about the job. I'm still hopeful, but increasingly anxious. I'm hoping that no news is good news - if I didn't get it, I'd find out right away, right? Processing paperwork makes it take longer, not to mention that hiring at a university has many steps to it (approval by the Dean, cleared through human resources, etc.). So I haven't given up hope just yet.

That said, I spent all week neurotically checking my e-mail, hoping for something - anything! Not a peep out of them. Matt and I both said that waiting on the job news is a lot like waiting for Noah again: with no set arrival date or time, you just wait and anticipate the craziness that follows once things get rolling. If I don't hear by, say, Wednesday of next week, I'm probably going to contact them. I don't want to appear overanxious (I am, of course - I just don't want them to know how bad!), but I also want them to know I am entirely interested in the position and want to get the ball rolling so we can start planning a move that's getting more and more last minute as the days go by. It's an odd situation.

The stress and anxiety made this a very tough week for me food-wise - I thought about a binge every single day. To be honest, what kept me from doing it (besides the thought of walking to and from the grocery store in 95ยบ heat) was knowing I needed to share my weigh-in today, and I wanted it to be a good one. It's not the best reason, but this week, it was what I had to work with.

And it worked. I'm down another 2 pounds this week, to 256. 46 more pounds to my pre-pregnancy weight, and 11 more to my 100 pound milestone. I definitely feel better reporting a loss than I would have felt eating pizza and crying about the silly job situation. Even if I didn't have a loss to share, I would feel better knowing I had done my best and ate normally, no binges.

This week, I hope it cools down a little - when I finally hear from the school, I'm going to need to take a relaxing walk in either case: either in preparation for a big transition, or to stay calm and think about what our next step is, what any other options may be. I'm really, really hoping it's the former - as crazy as it would be to need to pack up and move out-of-state in three weeks, it's also kind of exhilarating. As great as it will feel to make money again, I'm most excited for getting back to the career I love so deeply - that's worth a few weeks of craziness and running around. Plus, if you recall, two years ago when I moved to California for a job, I had a week's notice - I got the job Monday, we left Thursday morning, and I was at mandatory training the following Monday. Three weeks would be glorious!

What about you? How do you pass the time while waiting for big things - without eating?


Amy said...

WIth close friends and family lately it seems to be the trend with job hunting - it takes far longer than they thought to get the job! I really hope it works out for you!!

I think living pretty far out of town has been the best thing for me not eating crap. Out of sight, out of reach (still in mind). I don't buy anything bad, I still get into stuff, but at least it's the healthy things I bought. I'd rather eat 2 handfuls too many of nuts than consume an entire bag of chips.

Losing The Rolls said...

I hate waiting. I work for a large corporation and hiring from the outside can take a couple of months. We lose a lot of candidates because our process. I'm crossing my fingers for you.

Congrats on the weight loss Mary!