January 10, 2012

Peace

When we got to San Francisco, I had lost some of my Connecticut binge weight, but I was still over 200 pounds - the highest weight I'd been in six or seven months.

It's interesting, then, that looking at the pictures, I look really, genuinely happy. Not hiding my body. Not ashamed of the regain.

Walking up Lombard Street


Lombard Street and Crissy Field


Coit Tower

I'm out there, actively enjoying a great city with someone who is incredibly supportive of my healthy living goals - and who reminds me that I am lovely and successful even when I see my body at its recent worst.

I've been thinking a lot about seeking peace since reading a post by Mary a few weeks ago:
It may not be my dream, but it is my life and I need to make peace so I can live a full life from where I am.
I know what I want long-term, and I know what I need to do to improve on where I am, but for now, I'm at peace with everything, and that is so completely important. Getting back to Geneen Roth and her ideas about not waiting for "someday" to be happy - when we reach our goals, she says, they will be in the Right Now. And we absolutely have to be mindful of that.

I'm still doing well - eating well, drinking lots of water, running and biking everywhere, and back in onederland as of yesterday morning. My weight is not ideal right now, but the conditions are right and motivation is high, and I am pushing forward in hopes of finally breaking the plateau, of getting to the 180s and then moving forward. It's not a formal resolution, but I know I'm capable of reaching my goal weight in 2012. I'm really looking forward to making progress on this and my other healthy living goals.

In the meantime, though, I'm happy. I've found a peace that has been largely absent since moving to California, and I'm finally feeling settled and ready to pick up where I left off back in August. The semester starts soon, but I'm no longer new here. It seems simple, but this one bit of consistency will help incredibly with getting back to the kinds of routines I had back in Chicago.

What about you? How do *you* make peace with the "right now" - that is to say, how do you stay positive in the present while remaining optimistic about the future?

21 comments:

domwillrunforbeer said...

You look so happy in your pictures. Keep smiling! Best of luck on your goals for 2012. :)

Ann said...

love this, mary. You look so happy and healthy!!

Joy said...

I think you look great and very happy!
Glad you are on your way down. Keep up the great work and stay focused!!!

downsizers said...

Peace right now for me is related to my relationship with the Lord. I am not doing this on my own. I pray each morning for strength and each night I am thankful. I have stopped being obsessed with how much longer, dividing the weight I have to lose by how many months left in the year - staying in the now and "being" (we are human "beings")- there is only today and I take care of that. The rest will fall into place. Be well.

Miss April said...

You look so happy and comfortable in your own skin. As far as spending your time with someone who is supportive of your health and goals - that makes all the difference. Congrats on finding such a great guy!

Peace with myself... That has been a tough road. I felt like I would never be happy, like I would never lose the weight. I am just barely half way through the pounds, but I feel myself changing on the inside. I am more comfortable. I smile more, I have a little more bounce in my step. It is a tough road and there is always just as much work (if not more) to do mentally as there is physically. I try to tell myself to, 'Just live', as in today, always. You're such an inspiration to that!

Meghan said...

I go through cycles of feeling content at where I'm at. I find that when the scale isn't moving as much as it should be when I'm doing everything right is when I start getting really antsy and life consumed with the number on the scale.

It's hard for me to find the balance. I want to be in onederland so bad..so, so, so bad. I'm trying to remember how far I've come but right now I do not feel a peace.

Caron said...

Love the pictures and the smile. I also like your new hair color very much.

I do better taking it one day at a time when I can get myself to do that. I get crazy thinking a year ahead even though the years are really zooming by now.

Mom on a mission said...

You have such a beautiful smile:) you should mile girl...contentment is an amazing feeling. Even though you are not to your goal weight its important to feel good in your skin at all weights and sizes:)

Plump Nonfiction said...

I stay positive by knowing what I have in my life. A wondeful husband, 2 amazing sons, a roof over our heads... I also try to remember how horrible I felt when I weighed 275 lbs and even after gaining a bit of my weight back... I'm still in a good position and I'm not where I was. I may not make it to goal for a while but I am content with where I am right now. I'm ok with the distance I need to go to reach goal.

Hyla said...

You look amazing! And I LOVE the hair and the SMILE!

Tim said...

I guess having been to India and seen the slums and witnessed first hand how little hope people have in their futures, I guess it keeps me going because I have a lot of stuff to look forward to. I just have to keep pushing myself to get there.

Good luck with the new semester. I love the pics, you look like you didn't want the day to end.

Claire said...

Making peace with yourself is always really difficult. I think that often we are our own biggest critics. For me, recognizing that I make mistakes and that doing so is natural is really important. Someone told me, "There is no failure, only feedback." I also work hard to not compare myself to other people because everyone has their problems. Often, it is those flaws that make us most beautiful and unique.

SkippyMom said...

I will say it again, where exactly are you hiding 200 lbs. You look fantastic, healthy and like you have no reason to lose another pound.

Are you airbrushing? I am kidding, kidding.

Honestly you look great. Keep it up!

timothy said...

achieving your goals is important including your weight but being happy means even more. never forget YOU on the journey to what you want!

Shannon said...

You look great, Mary! AND you look so happy! Love the pics!

marisol said...

You sure did get around from the short time that you were in town. You got to see lots of places. Can I tell you that in the 22 years that I've lived here I have never once walked the stairs of Lombard Street? Whenever we have relatives, I always drive them around and am the one to park the car at the bottom of the street. I never thought I could climb them.

But that will change mark my words.

You look amazing in the pictures. Your inner beauty shines through them.

Carbie Girl said...

I love not shying away from the cameras anymore. I think in the last few months I've said "Lets take a picture!" more than I've ever said in my life..and thats including years ago when I was even a smaller size. Good for you Mary :0) XOXO

Greg (Transformed and Scaled) said...

I've made peace with the idea that I won't be getting to the gym for quite some time, but for a very happy reason. The arrival of our baby has definitely thrown off my workout schedule, but oddly enough I don't care...

Jessica said...

I have made peace with the "right now" simply by eating right and moving...and knowing I have to do these two things my entire life. Do I hope that I will lose weight this year...yes! But if I am doing the right things to eat healthy and the scale doesn't move...that's ok.

kristi said...

OMG with those long legs you do not look 200 lbs.... jealous!!!!!!!

Tubby Trotter said...

Welcome to onderland! And how did the half marathon go? I'm training for my first one, blogging about it, and would love any advice you might have!
http://hottertrotter.blogspot.com/
-Kristen