July 22, 2011

Roses and thorns

I got too emotional yesterday to keep up with the Harry Potter metaphor, so allow me to wrap that up first.

Harry Potter is known throughout the wizarding world as "the boy who lived." Despite being attacked by Lord Voldemort as an infant, he was protected by a special kind of magic after his mother, in the moments before her death from the Unforgiveable Curse that kills on contact, repeated over and over to her baby
Harry, you are so loved. Harry, Mama loves you. Dada loves you, Harry. You are so loved...
Despite his best attempts, Voldemort was unable to defeat Harry. And likewise, obesity cannot defeat me, no matter what tricks it may seem to have up its sleeve. Battles may be long and the odds may not seem in my favor, but I'm incredibly well-armed - I'm loved, and the support I have fortifies and protects me. In the end, good always wins out over evil.

I can't thank you all enough for the outpouring of support I got on my last post. Family relationships are tough, and even if I weren't trying to lose weight these days, I have the feeling I'd be going through a similar identity crisis: trying to cut loose a little from my attachment. I'm very independent, but at the same time, I'm incredibly motivated by a desire to be constantly pleasing to my parents. So right now, I'm seeking to establish myself as a reasonably attached adult: I am your daughter, not your child, if that makes sense. It's good to want to make them proud, but it's also healthy to make being proud of myself a priority.

Weighing in at 196 today - down one pound. Was lower earlier in the week, but with 100ยบ+ weather, I've been eating more and exercising less. I also went out to eat with Matt twice - the best possible choices, but still salty, and I can feel that the regain isn't actual weight. This week, that's life - no complaints, no apologies.

What about you? If your weight loss journey was a movie or TV show, what would it be? What are your plans for the weekend?


Meghan said...

Congrats on your loss! You're doing great!! You are such an inspiration to me! Your writing is beautiful and honest. I wish I could put my words on "paper" like you.

We all have struggles. I'm goung through some personal ones now. You are a fighter. You will make it through. I really hope your mom comes around. No matter how old we get we will always need our mothers.

I eish you nothing but happiness!

Caron said...

I read one Harry Potter book years ago and watched two of the movies. I did not catch that you were referencing the series yesterday and, like a few others, I thought you were leaving your blog behind. Glad you're staying. You're one of my top three favorites! :)

timothy said...

sounds like you're making some great progress sweetie. one pound at a time you'll get there. have a GREAT weekend! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Amy said...

I have been avoiding the scale (if you hadn't noticed) but I think I might have melted off like 5 pounds yesterday. So I weighed myself today, and nothing has changed, which is probably because I gained weight and melted it off yesterday! haha

I've been having a rough week too - maybe it's not only me!?

Arwenn said...

Keep fighting the good fight!! The parent thing is tricky. I had a lot of trouble with mine when I was in my early 20s and it took a while for it to sink in that happiness for me was not the same thing as for them, that my definition of success was different, and that I didn't necessarily want the things that they wanted for me etc. It is also hard being the eldest and therefore the first to go through this transition. Your parents may or may not change in ways that are helpful, but you setting boundaries and then living within them will make this easier as time goes on.

Anonymous said...

Every healthy person separates from their parents. I mean they rebel or become their own entity. Sometimes struggles (inside and out) ensue.

But you are a thoughtful and reasonable girl with a can do attitude. It will keep you in good stead.

My plans? Well same as the middle of the week. Yawn. Except my girlfriends have decided I need wine (mostly they want to discuss my doctor and scare me about medical things), but did I mention wine. I don't really want to go, but they will not let it go. They sent me a menu of things they will be serving and the calories. How freaking nice is that?

Sincerely, even when they are too much with the horror stories, I realize I am incredibly blessed.

I have no idea about a movie or TV show.

Tim said...

A film title about my weight loss would have to be "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly"

"The Good" being my healthy choices
"the bad" being my poor choices
"and the ugly" me! LOL