June 24, 2011

Roses and thorns

On Tuesday, Lorelei sent me a text message fairly early in the morning:
Let's go for a run.
I quickly got dressed and got on the bus to her place. The plan was simple: walk two miles north, then run back. An easy run - or so I thought - but the two mile walk turned into over four miles, then a little over a mile of running before she couldn't go any further. She said she's been running, so I think it may have just been dehydration - it was a hot day, though I didn't think it was excessive.

In any case, we just walked back towards her place. Still a decent workout (better than sleeping in, anyway), and it gave us a lot of time to talk about things and catch up on what's been going on in our lives - with boys, with the job search, with everything in general. We talked about wanting to run away, to take off and escape to the south of France, where we could wear dresses and plant vegetable gardens and ride bikes and fall in love with some cute American boys off on the same adventure. Somehow we'd make a living while making a life. Indulging a bit in the fantasy, we started talking about what our dresses would look like, what we'd plant in our gardens. I said that my bike would need to have a cute basket on it to put in my fresh baguette and that day's bottle of wine; as I said it, we passed a bike with an undoubtedly French air to it, and a perfect wicker bike basket out front. It was a sign from the universe, we decided, that things would end up for the best, even if it feels tough right now and all we have are dreams.

Around our sixth or seventh mile, we came across a frozen yogurt place, and we decided to stop in. As we were getting our yogurt from the self-serve machines, a couple of young kids with clipboards approached us:
We're on a missions trip from Texas - is there anything we can pray for for you?
Lorelei engaged the mission kids in conversation for a few minutes, but I looked away. What to ask for? How to ask? I haven't written much on faith here, but very briefly: I wouldn't consider myself very religious, though I do have beliefs and a solid faith in some sort of higher power. It's another thing I'm trying to discover and figure out on my own terms. (I suppose I'll get into more detail in a later post.) I know everything will work out, that the universe has a plan for me, and that I need to trust that everything is happening for a reason.

In that moment, though, I took my 140 calorie half-cup of red velvet frozen yogurt and, facing the container from which I scooped a few graham cracker crumbs, I blurted out:
I really need a job.
And it took everything in me to stop myself from crying.

As we sat outside enjoying our cool treat and talking about faith, we decided that this must be another sign from the universe. Yogurt was not on our schedule, but we were drawn in, and by chance someone was here in this moment to ask what we needed help with; hopefully it meant that soon, we would receive some answers.

On Wednesday, my former advisor director at the university I worked at last year sent me an e-mail fairly early in the morning:
... writing to see if you might be interested in teaching ... haven't totally finalized things yet ... some classes are still under-enrolled ... waiting to see what happens with them ... just wanted to check your availability...
It's not anything I'm counting on just yet, but I'm feeling a little relief. And my faith in signs from the universe is as strong as ever.

Weight is 198 today, by the way - a 1 pound loss. Everything this week was sort of good-but-not-great, but I'm not disappointed in the slightest. In fact, I couldn't be more pleased. Everything, everything, everything is moving in the right direction.


Life as a Caterpillar said...


Hope it works out for you


Hyla said...

Yay! What a day!

timothy said...

and that's where go with the flow comes from! it doesn't mean to blindly follow others. it means to have enough faith to allow yourself to move in sync with the universe. i find when i "listen" to the Great Spirit and allow myself to be flexible great things happen. when i insist on following the path i KNOW is right even when things keep screwing up the universe will whack me in the head with a 2x4 to move me along. much easier to "go wit the flow" glad you're allowing things to happen organically! i'm sure the universe has magical things in store for you! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

financecupcake said...

I am glad you are so pleased with everything in your life! Your run sounds pretty amazing. Nice job on the loss! Keep up the good work.

Caron said...

I like the tone of this post. Hope that makes sense. You appear to be so calm and accepting of each day as you move through it. I will pray for you and your success in landing a good job. :)

MaryJo said...

So glad you're feeling upbeat about things! It's hard to face an uncertain future but so important to do it with an open heart and positive outlook. So easy to say but so hard to do, at least for me!

Julie said...

Oh my dear, I felt so sorry for you when I was reading this. I know that life is hard. Though I have a job right now it's not what it's suppose to be with summer time and all and the idea of finding something else is so overwhelming knowing that there isn't anything out the to be had. Life isn't easy.
Good luck with the teaching, if all works out. We can all hope and pray for each other that life takes on a good spin.
Take care and keep up the great work. 1 pound loss is excellent. God bless you my friend.

Amy said...

Oh yay!!! My fingers are crossed for you!!!

and now I must have frozen yogurt ASAP.

Also - I totally agree that everything happens for a reason and that we have to trust our path in life, but I also think the right attitude will take us on that path, I don't think it's set in stone, there is always a fork in the road, and whether we choose to be positive or negative really navigates that path. I think you have the right attitude and things will all work out for the best! I know I've said it before, but I really think you would enjoy the book The Power (I know you had said you read the Secret). Such a great eye opener and inspirational piece when our life isn't always that certain.

Spoonful of Me said...

I love how no matter what the scale says you are still positive.

Ann said...

So so so haaaaaaaaappy for you!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, at some point you have to have trust. Trust that you are prepared, making the right decisions (because your journey is a deliberate one) and trust that there is a plan for you. It may be challenging, frustrating, exhilarating, boring, worrisome. All of that. There is a reason for everything. You learn from hardship, you grow from challenge and because of this you can fully appreciate gifts. Believe me when it is all smooth, the ups are not as up. Nothing will be thrust upon you that you cannot handle. Nothing.

I so SO hope your job at the school works out, if not - there is something else out there meant for you, you just have to get there!

You are a fantastic girl who any employer would love to have work for them. Don't forget that.

Congrats on one more step deeper into Onederland.

Bluezy said...

I love stories like these. And it is like people who just somehow are there are like angels. If you notice them you are blessed. If you don't you just were not seeking. It is really something.

Shannon said...

So glad everything is going well for you, Mary. I love this post, and I love your positive attitude. Things are going to continue to get better for you - I just know it. Have a wonderful weekend!

Katie Foster said...

Wow, it really does seem like a sign--I hope that everything works out!

And RED VELVET FROZEN YOGURT?! I can't even get vanilla frozen yogurt around here. Yum!

Anonymous said...

Great re: the job! I hope it works out for you.
Thank you for your comment on my blog- I do appreciate it!
Oh and about the bike basket! I had to laugh out loud - I have two baskets on my bike - one on the back for the boring stuff, but the front one? It's gotta have stuff that looks great in pics - like veggies and a baguette & wine sounds great (although I can't have gluten so the baguette might contaminate everything LOL) ... but it's a joke around here about mom's "baskets"!!!

Marla said...

I believe everything happens for a reason. The reason may not be clear at the time, but in time it will. Wishing you the best with your employment prospect.

Tim said...

What a crazy day full of signs and a great way to end it with a possible job.

Good luck!