The scale didn't move much this week - well, it went up and back down a couple of times, but never more than a pound or so at a time. I'm weighing in today at 199, no change overall - which is good, and all things considered, I am very happy with it. This was not one of my toughest weeks, but it was certainly full of unique challenges.
Something I've believed since I decided to get healthier last year is that being alone is both a help and a hindrance. Sure, I'd love someone to share this happy and healthy life with, but there are a lot of things I've been dealing with that were easier to go solo on. I haven't had to worry about tempting foods in the house because the only one who grocery shops here is me. I don't have to scour restaurant menus looking for something remotely on-plan because I simply don't eat out. And there has always been time to go to the gym for two hours a day because to tell the truth, there wasn't really anything else to do.
It's good, but all along, I've feared that my changes aren't truly sustainable because of this. Eventually, I'll share my life with someone, and there will need to be space in the fridge for the things he enjoys. There will be meals out. And there will be days when the gym is the last place I'd like to be.
This past week, these have been the case.
Looking singularly at this past week, I worked out a good amount and made good eating choices; compared to the past ten and a half months, though, this week has been fairly inactive. I decided early on in the week that my goal was not loss, but simply maintenance - just enjoy this a little and don't feel devastated and anxious because you're choosing to watch a movie with a cute boy instead of take the bus uptown for an hour, run for an hour, then take the bus for 30 minutes home. Despite my worst secret fears, the scale is not going to automatically jump back to 345 pounds because I chose to cuddle a couple of days instead of spending hours and hours on the elliptical machine.
I've made terrific progress on my own since July 2010, and now, in this final phase of my weight loss, I'm trying to accept that it's okay to have a week like this, because I'm still learning something. I'm learning how to make the best choices when the choosing isn't all about me, how to make the best decisions I can when I'm not the only one involved in the decision making process.
Something I'm very pleased with in terms of my progress this week is noticing that on days when I did not go to the gym, I was at or below my calorie goal. My restaurant choices have not excessive, partly because I knew I won't be making it to the gym, but also, because I just didn't want to eat poorly/overeat. I never want to feel gross when I eat anymore, but especially when I'm hanging out with a cute boy. Nothing says unsexy like a belly that's weighed down with sodium and feels like it's full of lead because of a huge portion.
I like hanging out with Matt an awful lot, and if this becomes something, I'll have to find a way to make it work while still being active. I need to make sure that lazy weeks like this aren't all too frequent - something I doubt will be a problem, though, because I honestly love being active and felt a little antsy at certain points in the week. I jotted down all the active date ideas you guys shared (thank you!!!) and we already talked about not eating out so much - today, for example, I've made a lasagna (only about 400 calories for a good sized portion) and a mixed greens salad. Lasagna is total man bait - it's what my mom made for my dad on their first date - and I've done a good job of taking my mom's recipe and making it kosher/lower calorie/8"x8". (My mom's lasagna is incredible, but also has at least twice the calories and never weighs less than 20 pounds. We have it once a year and eat it for days.) I'll share my lightened-up version here on Sunday.
Pretty much unrelated to anything but I love it: this picture.
Hello, legs! Given the weather and time constraints, I've been back on the treadmills lately, but I ran by the lake once this week and it was glorious. I love my awkward runner's tan - my arms below the sleeve are tan (with the exception of a one-inch bar where my iPod strap is), as are my legs (but only below the knee and above my socks). It's a purposeful tan, and I love it - like I was telling Caroline recently, it's like the awesome uniform to an exclusive club for people who get out there and put in their time on the pavement. It's silly, but I'm so proud of this.
What about you? What NSVs did you have this week? What challenges do you find with balancing weight loss and relationships?