Emotionally, this was a very rocky week - lots of extreme highs and lows. I had a phone interview for a teaching job, but I was nervous and shaky and I'm not quite sure where I stand on it. I hung out with a boy that I'm totally crazy about, but it's fairly clear that the feelings aren't mutual. (He'll get his own post soon enough, I promise.) And it's cold and rainy in Chicago, feels more like mid-autumn than nearly summer, and that has me feeling a little down and out as well.
It's easy to stay motivated when everything is going well, but as soon as one thing starts to slip, it can feel like everything is at risk of falling apart. It's irrational, I know - the weather will improve, my heart will mend, and I will find a fantastic job. But in times like this, I find myself grasping for every little bit of control that I can. I'm proud to say that I did a good job of not eating emotionally, choosing instead to bawl my face off several times. I forget how cathartic sobbing can be, especially when paired with a really great sad song.
When we were in college, Sam gave me a copy of the Magnetic Fields' album "Get Lost" and told me that it's the perfect sadness soundtrack.
He was right, I'll give him that - because when you're sad, you don't always want to listen to cheerful music and pop right out of the bad mood. Sometimes you need to splash around and revel a bit in being a giant depressed mess, then get up and clean yourself off and move forward. Feel the sadness, totally experience it, and then dry your face and carry on.
In spite of having cried at least a dozen times this week, I'm feeling pretty good right now, and I'm happy overall about the work I've done this past week. I'm ready to start the weekend positively: I'm healthy and strong and capable of incredible things. What's not to celebrate in that?
What about you? Do you have a song/band/movie/etc. that you can always count on to get the tears flowing? What NSVs and positive progress will you celebrate this weekend?