March 15, 2011

Decisions

Yesterday was really, really wonderful. I went to the Field Museum for Free Day and marveled at the fact that the last time I went, I couldn't get through the whole thing without stopping to rest. This time I saw nearly everything, then I decided I didn't want to stand still waiting fifteen minutes for the bus, so I went for a two mile walk along the lake, through Millennium Park, and then downtown to catch a bus to get ahead on some work for this week.

I think that with all my race training, I may have forgotten how much I truly enjoy simply walking. I love exploring and adventuring, and I'm so lucky to live in a world city where there are always new things to see and discover.

lac mich - not salty, but i still love it
It was chilly along the lakefront, and the wind didn't help. But it was sunny, and that made it great. I munched on a banana and a 100 calorie pack of cocoa roast almonds and loved everything about who I am, where I am, and what I am doing with my life right now.

shrinking
Part of growing up is realizing that there are a lot of things in life that we can't control. Stemming from that, two other major lessons are learning how to work with what we can control and how to deal with what we can't.

oie
I can't control the lousy winter weather in Chicago, but I can try my best to make my own sunshine. I can try to make the most out of every day, no matter what the forecast shows for outside.

i will never not love taking pictures in the bean
I can't control my father's failing health, but I can try my best to prevent myself from ending up the same way. I can love him and help him in every way that I can, and I can try to not feel guilty or assume responsibility for his actions and his decisions.

I can only control Mary.

I can only make my own decisions.

And walking through the park yesterday, I made up my mind about my vacation.

Last summer, I had planned an overnight trip to St. Louis, MO. I made an itinerary with excruciatingly specific details (just like I like!) before checking the weather - 95-97ยบ both days. That would have been tough for anyone, but I was 345 pounds and didn't want to be tired and sweaty in a strange city. So I saved the file and forgot about the trip.

Next week, I'm going.

It isn't foreign or fancy, but it should be fun and not bank-breaking - in fact, I can stay overnight and see quite a few sights for half the cost of a flight to Connecticut, so I could even take another small trip somewhere later this summer. I have worked incredibly hard this past year - finishing up grad school, working at my first grown-up full-time job, losing 117 pounds, and keeping semi-sane with all the emotional changes and identity redefinition that's been going on with all of it. I deserve this little reward, and it'll be really nice to get away - no guilt, no anxiety, just relaxing, exploring a new city, and enjoying my incredible life.

16 comments:

AlmostGastricBypass said...

I am inspired

Chubby McGee said...

This is a wonderful post. I love your attitude. It's like NSV central. You are totally inspiring!

Shannon B. said...

This post makes me happy. Great job! Have so much fun!!!

Ann said...

Love this post - everything you talked about!! Have fun in St. Louis!! You deserve it!!

~ Darla ~ said...

You totally deserve this reward. Enjoy, Mary, your incredible life is getting better with each passing day!

Rusti said...

Awesome post!!! Thanks for the inspiration!!!
~RustiAnn

Spoonful of Me said...

I think its great that you are taking a trip for yourself. Enjoy the sites. Also enjoy the fact that you have a skinny shadow.

Kayla Sue said...

I love this, you are so right! And I love that you are so happy with who you are and what you are doing with your life!! That is encouraging AND motivating!!!

Jess said...

Good for you Mary! Enjoy your trip!

carolinecalcote.com said...

You definitely deserve it. Enjoy every minute of it!

Finding The Thin Within said...

Sounds divine, Mary!!! Have a ball =))

LoriV. said...

I love walking too. I get caught up with running and forget to sometimes slow down and enjoy the scenery. Congrats on making a plan for your trip. I bet you will have a fun time. We expect more pictures of you seeing the sites!

fatgirlwearingthin said...

I so admire your ability to take off to places you've never been. I love that about your personality, Mary. and it is inspiring - I agree with everyone else. Be happy, have a wonderful time and enjoy your life :)

~Shannon~ said...

So glad that you enjoyed your day! We're leaving for a trip to St. Louis on March 27th, so I can't wait to hear about the great stuff you do! Have a wonderful time!

jayme @ Losing Half My Weight said...

great job, mary!!! so glad you're going somewhere and are affirming for yourself what you're responsible for and what you have control over!

as for st. louis, my favorite part is a part of town called university city. there were some amazing used bookstores there that i loved visiting!

Tim said...

A fully deserved reward for everything you've done. Remember to take lots of pictures for us (especially me as i haven't a clue what's in St. Louis. I even had to look up what MO meant because I get confused by all the different State abbreviations! hehe.