November 11, 2010

A love letter

Dear Mary -

I love you.

I know I have never really been one to express my true feelings, but now, I am moved to tell you this. I love you. I really, truly do. I love your green eyes and your curly auburn hair, even when you just wake up. I love your little hands and your big feet. I love your radiant smile and your contagious laugh. And, you know, it's not just physical - I love all that you've done, all that you're doing, and all that you are capable of.

kurt halsey dot com
And so, I just wanted to apologize for some things that I've said and done to you in the past. A lot of people have hurt you, and I know that wasn't easy to deal with. But I've hurt you more than anyone - I've hurt you really badly, and the fact that you're still here, fighting and giving every day your best ... well, it just shows how brave and resilient you are. You could have given up. You could have called it quits. But you didn't - you stuck it out, and you got stronger because of it. I'm sorry you were in the situation to begin with, but I'm glad you have let it become a learning experience instead of calling it a permanent failure.

Actually, I'm sorry for an awful lot of things.

I'm sorry that I told you you weren't good enough to do the things you dreamed of. I'm sorry that I deceived you into thinking I was rewarding you when all the time, these were punishments that got you further away from your goals. I'm sorry that I convinced you to settle for less than perfect because I didn't think you could reasonably do better. You can, Mary. You deserve the best of everything, and I'm sorry for ever letting you believe otherwise.

I know that the number on the scale isn't everything, but I can honestly say that since you've started eating well, exercising, and taking better care of yourself, I've noticed that you've begun to come out of your shell a little - going out, taking more chances, paying more attention to your appearance. It's amazing. You're finally experiencing life as you've dreamed about it for ages. Everyone wants their dreams to come true - and now, you're making it happen. You're a new person! And I know that as awesome as that is, you're scared. You're terrified. Admittedly, it's not going to be easy to adjust to. But I have faith in your ability to blossom and flourish, to achieve your goals and make the most of this new life that you never thought possible. In the past, I've been critical and pessimistic. From this moment, I hereby promise to be your biggest supporter.

kurt halsey dot com
You have an incredible life full of opportunities and possibilities. You're destined to do really great things, and I hope for your sake that you take every single chance that you can. You absolutely deserve it.

Love,

Yourself

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Amen! Everyone should write a love letter to themselves! May have to steal this idea later on down the road when I need to be reminded of good things!

Glad you are learning to love yourself! "You have an incredible life full of opportunities and possibilities" <-- So true!

Anne H said...

Much better than all the hate mail and ransom notes from "me to me!"
Thank goodness those days are mostly gone.
Very creative!

Amy said...

This is so great - it's so true, the most hate we receive in our lives is from ourselves. I think we need to pay ourselves a little more respect and love more often!

Finding The Thin Within said...

=)

Tim said...

I love this post :)

Casey said...

I needed to read that today! I was so full of negative thoughts today.
Great reminder to think positive thoughts and to remember that I'm worth a little bit more respect and love from myself.

Anonymous said...

So good! I only know you from your blog and twitter, but I think you are awesome.

Joy said...

Goodness sakes that was beautiful!!!! So glad you are in this new place. You're gonna make it happen!!!

Keep focused!!!!

Life as a Caterpillar said...

You are such a great writer!

xx