October 26, 2010

Guilty pleasures

Let me just start out by saying that I am the queen of awkward moments.

Sometimes, when I am really focused on something, I tend to think very literally. Like the time when my sister Katie and I were watching an awful lot of "Law and Order: SVU," and we had been making up a dance to the theme song (never said we were cool), but we only had the first part done. Katie, who is not as infinitely amused by silliness as I am, said "Mary, I'm putting an end to the SVU dance." And I told her, great, but we should probably work on the middle parts too.

Or when my sister Lisa was asking me survey questions for a project she was working on, and she said "What's your favorite scent?" Immediately, and quite excitedly, I yelled "the quarter!"

Really ridiculous stuff like this happens more than I'd like to admit.

There are also really awkward moments when I'm unable to think straight, so I'm more honest than I ought to be. Not necessarily inappropriate, but ... okay, example. A few summers ago, I had been painting a lot, and I was rinsing my paintbrushes in the bathroom sink. Later that night, I drank a small cup of water. I had to get up in the middle of the night with a stomach sickness - odds are that I ate like garbage that day, but in my mind, the water was contaminated. So, I stopped drinking water. Problem: I didn't have anything else to drink in the house. About a day and a half later, I was dying of thirst (and being stomach sick hadn't helped the dehydration problem), so I went to the grocery store. I was in the beverage aisle with two cases of bottled water and a Gatorade in hand when a cute grocery store clerk asked "I guess you're thirsty, huh?"

My current, well-hydrated logic says the answer should be something like "Haha, yeah..." - or even the simple but efficient "Yes."


"Oh ... well, I developed an irrational fear of the water in my apartment, so, I need to drink something or I'll likely die."

I'm not sure if he was flirting, but any chances I had ended right there. Sweet but neurotic is only cute and endearing in Woody Allen movies. Diane Keaton can pull that off. Me, crazy-eyed and dry-mouthed in the Gatorade section at Jewel? Understandably less chic than Annie Hall.

I had another moment like this at the gym the other day. When I work out, I don't wear my glasses since I get all sweaty - so, I can see enough to get around, but I can't see most details. I was on the recumbent bike, pedaling away, enjoying my view of the quad and a workout playlist I had made. I was so focused on the workout that I was pretty oblivious to the guy next to me trying to say something. I'm actually not sure if the guy was cute, but I know he was looking close enough to see what was playing on my iPod. Eventually he caught my eye...

Him: "Hey - I love Jay-Z!"

Me, awkwardly yanking off my earphones: "What?!"

Him: "You're listening to Jay-Z. I like him, too!"

Let me interrupt to show you what the screen looked like on my dinosaur of an iPod:

mud in your eye!
Logical reactions: "Me too!" or, more honestly, "I don't really like him all that much."

Me: "Oh ... yeah, um, I'm listening to the 'Annie' soundtrack."

Cue silence.

First, that's not nearly as awkward as the fear of water, I know.

Second, I decided that I might start wearing my glasses on the workout floor so I can check out the scenery, if you know what I mean.

And third, it got me thinking about workout music. When I work out, I just put my iPod on shuffle, and skip around if something's too slow. I tend to listen to faster songs with good rhythms that I can work into my workout. A lot of times, this translates to bad 80s music, well mixed soundtracks, and showtunes. I guess they're not really "guilty" pleasures, since I feel no guilt about loving them - they get me moving! But still, I guess it might seem strange to someone else whose motivating music is totally different.

What's your guilty (or non-guilty) pleasure for workout music?


Allan said...

How "meet-cute" would that be if her turns and says, I have "I Think I'm gonna like it here" and "Tomorrow" on mine and the two of you sigh, eyes locked... It could happen, although the guy that knows the score from Annie might be skipping too softly for you to date... All the best

Jessica said...

My Guilty Pleasure work out music is Brittany Spears! :) Love her when I am running :)

I love your quirkiness! I think we would be best buds if we lived closer :)

Amy said...

hilarious stories! I am very much the same way if I'm not thinking about what's coming out of my mouth. My cousin sees me the most in these states and she has so much dirt on me.

I do the same thing as you for music at the gym, I just shuffle until I get a song that gets me moving!

Anonymous said...

This made me giggle - and makes me think that guy was just as "awkward" as you are! PFFT. Everyone's silly.

Favourite guilty pleasure workout music is.. Britney. Yeah. I can't be helped.

Anonymous said...

Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" or "Simply Irresistible" I don't know why, but they just get me moving. Also, I am partial to Barry White's "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Baby" just the rhythm and the sound...such a great song to move around to.

Christine said...

Jay-Z? Annie? Ha ha, that's hilarious! I love it! My guilty workout pleasure is Britney Spears and Mika. (Shhhh did I say that out loud?)