September 3, 2010

Roses and thorns

What a week. The dust is starting to settle at work: classes are getting better and students are getting used to being back to school. welcome to paris!I teach three sections of two different classes, and one of my sections is giving me a real headache. They complain that they don't understand the material, but none of them e-mails me, nor do they come to my office hours. The biggest problem is that I suspect that the majority of them are not doing their homework. They're in for a treat, though - pop quizzes every day until participation improves! Their first exam is Wednesday, and I think that will also be a good wake-up call for them. I can only say so many times that this is college, I can't hold their hands and tell them what to do!

As far as my weekly weigh-in ... I'm down another six pounds this week, making it a total of 23 pounds I have lost so far. I should be thrilled, but to be honest, I'm not. I'm actually kind of scared. I'm mildly concerned that I've been losing weight pretty quickly, but that's almost always the case when I first get started with eating better and keeping active, and I'm sure it will slow down to a safe rate of loss soon. My biggest concern right now is maintaining loss. I'm really great at getting super motivated, doing well, and then giving up when the going gets tough.

I think this week was especially rough since it's "that time of the month" a real escargot! paris, june 2009(sorry) and so a few times I ate things I probably shouldn't have. I guess in retrospect they weren't the worst choices - it couldn't have been completely terrible since I still had a big loss - but I still felt really guilty.

[Now, as I sit here, I'm thinking ... and having a pepper jack string cheese wasn't really that bad. One ounce of cheese is a reasonable snack. In the past, I could have eaten an entire block of cheese! It seems I'm still clinging to my old dieting mindset of "forbidden foods." I need to keep in mind that I am not on a diet. I am changing my lifestyle. And my lifestyle should include my favorite food! Just in a more reasonable portion.]

I guess I still have a long way to go with reevaluating how I eat...


Allan said...

Really, you are not on a Diet ? OK, then, semantics aside, what are you on ? A lifestyle change means changing your ? If you say Diet, then, uh oh... Stop obsessing about not dieting, and maintain the great start you are on. That works.

Jessica said...

Girl I feel you. This week is my TOM and I had two steroid shots on Tuesdays followed with antibiotics that make me want to eat, eat, eat!!!! And because my throat hurts, I want a lozenge in all the time and those calories can add up during the day.
Congrats on a another great loss!

Mary said...

Allan - I am not "on" anything. For me and my specific situation, my lifestyle change means more than just changing what I eat and how much of it. It's getting active, making better choices in all aspects of my life, and keeping a positive attitude. I think the word "diet" is very heavy in and of itself, conjuring images of limitations and exclusions. I don't think I'm obsessing about not dieting. I think I'm trying to change my mindset from the way I've thought in the past, where everything is off limits and I eventually end up bingeing because lady cannot live on celery alone. I know I can't go the rest of my life without eating the things I like; what I am trying to do is learn how to be satisfied without bingeing.

Ann (-50 lbs in -60 lb challenge) said...

GREAT job, oh_mg! Keep up the good work. And one ounce of cheese, as a snack (esp. during TOM) is an achievement all by itself. I don't know that I could do that - cheese ... I miss it so!! LOL You sound in control and have a wonderful attitude. I love that!! It is inspiring ... xx

Maggie said...

Hi! Yeah, college kids do not need hand holding. I never get when young people are given a great gift to further their education and they take it so lightly.

Speaking of lightly, six pounds is great! So is, one. If this is a lifestyle change, it will take time. : )

Retta said...

I really like how you caught your thinking, how it was the old diet mentality, and then you CHANGED it. That is exactly the way to do it. I totally get what you are saying about this being a permanent way of living, not a "diet" you go on, then later off of (usually with a blow-out!)

Congrats on the great loss this week. You are right in that it will calm down to a healthy pace. You are doing so well. :-)