Remembering

My mom took boxes and boxes of pictures of me as a baby, maybe one box of pictures of my middle sister, and perhaps an envelope of pictures of my youngest sister. I'm fairly certain that my family wouldn't have any pictures of our late-in-life brother if I hadn't taken approximately four hundred pictures of his adorable face when I was still living at home.

Come on, who doesn't wanna take pictures of a face like that?!

I guess the point is, I've always been the one behind the camera. That way, I get to document the important moments while staying out of the photos themselves. I love looking at the old pictures, and that way, I can remember how happy I was or how much fun we all were having without having to remember how huge I was.


Now that I'm starting to lose weight, though, I find myself in the opposite situation. I wish I had more pictures of myself at my biggest! First, that way I could see just how far I've come. I can feel the difference, but sometimes it's hard to see physical changes when looking in the mirror - because you see yourself every day, you don't notice slow but steady changes.


And second, so that I never, ever forget what 345 pounds felt like. And how unhappy I really was. And how much I missed out on because of the physical and emotional restrictions.