September 9, 2010

25 Reasons

A few weeks ago, I watched a really terrific PBS documentary called Fat: What No One is Telling You. One of the women interviewed had bariatric surgery and was sharing her experience with weight loss. She said that before going under the knife, there were mandatory counseling sessions, and in one of the sessions, the doctor asked her to compile a list of reasons why she wanted to lose weight.

I felt really inspired by this, and even though I am not going to have weight loss surgery, I decided to make a list of my own. I timed myself for five minutes and wrote as much as I could. Don't overthink anything, just go with your instincts. When you wonder why you're doing this, what's the first thing that comes to mind?

I came up with twenty-five things.

my list

1. To live a long and healthy life.

2. To try and avoid my father's fate.

3. To finally experience the life I've been hiding from.

4. To be able to walk into "normal" stores like Old Navy and buy a pair of jeans.

5. To finally date a guy who doesn't mistreat me and isn't just interested in me because of a fat fetish.

6. To feel more comfortable when traveling - planes, buses, trains, etc.

7. To be able to walk down the street without wondering if everyone is thinking about how fat I am.

8. To be able to do things more comfortably - like shave my legs.

9. To be taken seriously by colleagues.

10. To be able to have kids someday and teach them about loving life and eating responsibly.

11. To not wear a plus size robe when I get my PhD.

12. To not feel self-conscious about going out - to the beach, to a bar, etc.

13. To not avoid friends because I'm ashamed of what I have allowed to happen to my body.

14. To prove that I am in control.

15. To prove that I can set a goal and stick to it.

16. To finally nourish my body the way I have with my mind.

my list

17. To be a good example for my family.

18. To have more energy.

19. To not be sweaty all the time when no one else is.

20. To sleep better.

21. To be able to get different haircuts or styles without worrying that I'll look like a bowling ball.

22. To be able to run a mile - really run it - for the first time possibly ever.

23. To not feel self-conscious every time a chair or floorboard squeaks.

24. To be able to touch my toes.

25. To not get winded every time I climb stairs.


Amy said...

Wow. This is so powerful. I love that you did this within only a few minutes and the fact that it is so moving and deep. Such simple things to want from life, and all the limitations from one thing.
I think most people have superficial reasons to want to lose weight (myself included - among other reasons), but you can tell that you really want this for yourself.

Props to you - you can do it!!
Do you mind if I do the same thing & link to you?

Katie Warren said...

Wonderful reasons! It's nice to have that list now, because when you start to get of plan or have several bad days in a row you can look back at your list and remember why you are doing this! =)

<3 Katie

Ann (-50 lbs in -60 lb challenge) said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!! I'll sit down tomorrow and do one too. Thanks for the inspiration! xxox

Mary said...

Go for it! It's such an enlightening exercise. ♥

Jessica said...

This is wonderful. You will get this life :) I am sure you are already becoming an example to family...and friend!

jayme @ Losing Half My Weight said...

fantastic post! you can do it!!!

Amanda Cravens said...

I love it!

When I go to stores that have plus size and "normal" sizes, I wonder if a sales person will point me to the heavy clothes. Or, when I go to Rue 21, I often worry if the other shoppers are wondering why I am there!

Anonymous said...

Love this! I have a similar list. These are GREAT reasons!

Denise said...

My goodness. You've come so far.

Sarah said...

The more I read through some of your older entries, the more I realize just how similar we are.

"5. To finally date a guy who doesn't mistreat me and isn't just interested in me because of a fat fetish."

I wrote a LJ entry about that back when LJ was still popular. In fact, I could have written 90% of this list, verbatim.

Your blog post about having an ED: eating food so fast your jaw ached, squirreling food away to enjoy in private, and not eating much in front of people - also me.

Hell, even our starting weights were almost identical.

I'm so glad I "met" you.