
I've been looking at old pictures a lot lately, which I usually do when I am in periods of change in my life. With my finally deciding to do the right thing for myself and get healthy, I've been looking over the visuals of my past. I don't have very many pictures from when I was very little - those are mostly at my parents' house in Connecticut - but the ones that I do have (or at least have digital copies of), I love. They make me smile. I think I look very hopeful in them - totally ready to take on the world. I was like that when I was a kid. I was shy, but I always had high aspirations and the best intentions of growing up and making something of myself.
The other reason why I really like looking at pictures of myself as a very young kid is that they are the only way I have to know "what I look like."

So besides a few awkward school pictures, the only images of me between 100 and 300 pounds exist in my mind. And that's really a shame, because not only do I not have a record of my body in its various sizes, but I don't have a record of years upon years of my life. There were friends who came and went, school dances, birthday parties. I didn't want to remember the pains, the heartaches, the let-downs, everything that came with my fat body.

If I could sit down for just one minute with the kid I used to be, there are so many things I would tell her. That she is strong and will survive even the toughest times. To let everyone she loves know how much they mean to her. Not to give up - ever - on anything.
And to take more pictures of herself.
4 comments:
While you are talking to her, tell her to tell her parents that they should buy a lot of stock in something new called Microsoft. Hold it, never sell it, reinvest the splits and dividends in more stock. That would be what I would tell her..
All the best..
Oh goodness, I'm the same way. In fact, I remember having a fight with my parents when putting together albums and such for my high school graduation open house because all I wanted to put in were pictures of me before the age of 5 - and that's all that really existed. (Of all the fruitless teenage things to fight about!) Love this message.
I had the riding horse you are on when I was a kid! I loved to ride "Trigger." :) I can't wait to see the pictures from this journey! They will be Drop Dead Gorgeous, I am sure!
Love the last paragraph!
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